Ebola, SARS, Bird Flu, sharks off the Florida coast... so what's gonna kill us all this year? Swine Flu!?!
In case you have been living on a deserted island or in Osama Bin Forgottens cave for the past few days you should check out this article on this much hyped global killer: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/29/swine.flu/index.html
Mark this date: April 2, 2009. That was the beginning of the end for mankind as we know it, that is, if you believe the media hype surrounding the Swine Flu. That is when young Edgar Hernandez of Mexico, or "patient zero" as the media have dubbed him, caught the flu from the pig farm next door, as reported by his mother. (Which gives me a great idea for a top 5 nickname segment coming to you soon).
Since that date thousands of people have died and hundreds of thousands more have become infected with Swine Flu... (what?)... (are you serious?)... (thousands of people haven't died?)... (WTF).
Apparently only a couple hundred people have died. But, that's still pretty bad. I mean, think about it, there are 6 billion people in the word and a couple hundred have died from Swine Flu this month. (what?)... (that's still not really that bad)... (will someone tell me the straight poop!)
Ok, it breaks down like this. Each year about 36,000 Americans die from flu related causes. You saw that right, thirty-six thousand. That's every year and that's not the Swine Flu. That's just your run of the mill, everyday, good ol' red, white and blue, American flu. So far, Swine Flu has killed one person in the U.S. and that kid came from Mexico to Houston for treatment (does that really count). So what's the big deal about Swine Flu, has it really been that bad, or is it just a slow news week? Maybe this is just an economic diversion, after all, even President Obama said we may have to close our schools should the problem worsen (nicely played Mr. President).
Let's put some perspective on this problem. Here are a few things that have killed more people in the U.S. than Swine Flu to date;
- O.J. Simpson - 2 people (unconfirmed)
- Falling t.v.'s - 5 per year (more dangerous than sharks, 0.8 per year, in the U.S.)
- Snake bites - 12 per year (over 100,000 per year in the whole wide world)
- Dog attacks - 20 per year (probably pit bulls, why couldn't that kid have lived next to Michael Vick, then it would be the Pit Bull Flu, imagine the panic then)
- Crossing the street in Chicago - 56 in 2008 (didn't your mom teach you to look both ways)
- Lightening - 73 per year (that's just shocking)
- Bee stings - 100 per year (I don't BEElieve it)
- Hitting a deer with your car - 150 per year (I always knew Bambi was a killer)
- Tripping and falling down while walking - 600 per year (if can't walk without dying, you probably deserve it)
Here's a stat that I thought was really good; Falling coconuts kill, on average, 150 people per year (that's a worldwide stat). Falling coconuts are almost as deadly as swine flu... and the World Health Organization nor the Center for Disease Control are considering coconuts a pandemic.
Last year more people were beheaded in Mexico (200) by drug cartels than have been killed there, thus far,by Swine Flu.
Now let's talk about some REAL killers (all U.S. stats);
- Alcohol related deaths - 19,000 per year. (that's a lot of drinking problems)
- Alzheimer's disease - 71,600 per year (I almost forgot about this one)
- Accidents (unintentional injuries): 117,809 (whoops!)
- Iatrogenic causes - 250,000. (Say What?) Iatrogenic are problems induced in a patient by a physician's activity, manner, or therapy - especially a complication of treatment. I.E. something your doctor did wrong trying to save you.
- Cancer - 559,300
and the big-ee
- Heart disease - 652,000
150,000 people die per day on this planet, that's 1.8 persons per second. If Swine Flu hopes of even catching "death by elephant (500 yearly)," it better get to work.
In other words it's hype. Swine Flu is the hot topic of the moment, soon to be replaced by a famous celebrity death (not enough per year), closing car companies (more than you'd think this year), a plane crash (1300 per year), or the staple American story; the economy (killing my Benjamins as I type).
When this is all said and done, I will post related figures here... or I won't if I'm dead.
p.s. They said the day we elect a black president would be the same day pigs would fly... just 100 days in office and, you guessed it, Swine Flu.
No comments:
Post a Comment