Top 5 Nicknames

This is a pretty hard task, so I thought I would do like this, first, the 5 most famous nicknames (as selected by me) and, second, my 5 favorite nicknames of all time.

5 Most Famous Nicknames - Must be real person, must be known by damn near everyone. People in this category are not the most famous people in the world, but if you mention their name or nickname, everyone can identify with them.

(in no particular order)

Henry "Billy the Kid" McCarty - Also went by the alias William H. Bonney during the height of his notoriety. Famous for allegedly killing 21 people in the late 19th century. Earned his nickname because of his youthful appearance and actual age (he died at 21). While on a trip in Europe I was riding a train and two guys from Spain, struggled through the language barrier, to ask where in the U.S. I was from. I said, "Kansas." They said, "oh, Billy the Kid," and made the shape of a gun with their hands. I don't think Billy the Kid was ever in Kansas, but to my point, these two clowns from Spain even knew who he was... sorta.

Elvis "the King (of rock and roll)" Presley - Famous for gyrating his hips and his R&B voice. Sang "Hound Dog," "Jailhouse Rock," and "Blue Suede Shoes." Given the moniker "The King of Rock and Roll" because he was the king of rock and roll. End of discussion. Rated third in worldwide name recognition behind Michael Jackson and Jesus Christ.

George Herman "the Babe" Ruth - Acquired the nickname "Babe" after being referred to as "one of Dunne's (Baltimore Orioles manager Jack Dunne) babes." Ruth is one of the greatest sports hero's of American culture. Ruth completely changed baseball itself. The popularity of the game exploded in the 1920s, largely due to him. He was so good he had several nicknames; the Great Bambino, The Sultan of Swat, The Caliph of Clout, the Behemoth of Bust, and many others. Name lives on in candy bar form.

Jack the Ripper - Known only by his nickname as he was never caught. Famous for the murders of at least 5 and possibly as many as 11 women in London in 1888. The murders involved extremely gruesome acts, such as mutilation and evisceration, which were widely reported in the media. The name "Jack the Ripper" originated in a letter sent to the London Central News Agency by someone claiming to be the murderer. If ever in London I highly recommend the "Jack the Ripper" tour.

Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen aka "The Red Baron" - The most successful flying ace of World War I with 80 confirmed combat victories. Given the name Red Baron due to the color of his plane. Shot down not by another pilot, as you would suspect, but rather by a single shot fired from the ground. Currently has a line of pizzas named after him and has been idolized in Peanuts comics.

(Honorable Mentions: "Typhoid" Mary Mallon; Jesus "H" Christ (just kidding); "Shoeless" Joe Jackson; Andrew "Stonewall" Jackson; Dwight D. "Ike" Eisenhower; William F. "Buffalo Bill" Cody; James "Wild Bill" Hickock; Michael "Air" Jordan)


Now a list of my Top 5 favorite nicknames. These are basically nicknames I think are really cool and wish I had.

(In no particular order)

Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas - Given to him because he wears the number 0. He's a pretty good baller, but that nickname is sick!

"Cool Hand" Luke Jackson - Sure it's a fictional character, but it's a wicked awesome nickname. The film featured several other cool nicknames "Dragline," "Soceity Red," "Loudmouth Steve," and "Blind Dick," among others.

Mel "The Velvet Fog" Torme - Earned while singing at the famous Copacabana in New York. Mel never liked the name but I think it's kick ass.

Vito Corleone "The Godfather" - Another fictional character, but also very cool.

Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis - An MMA fighter, heard this in passing one day and thought, "that's the shit." Don't know a thing about the guy though.

(Honorable Mentions: Allen "The Answer" Iverson; Karl "The Mailman" Malone; Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch; Rod "He Hate Me" Smart; John Joesph "Black Jack" Persing)


I'll probably never get a cool nickname... BHanDaMan really isn't a nickname, it's just an Internet login I use. In college my friends called me Hatchet; which on the surface sounds like a cool nickname, but was really meant to describe the fact that my, then thought-to-be cool, hair looked like it had been parted with a hatchet. In fact, while researching this topic, I found that most nicknames are given for derogatory reasons. So, see you later dickhead.

Whatcha got... Swine Flu or Media Hype?

Ebola, SARS, Bird Flu, sharks off the Florida coast... so what's gonna kill us all this year? Swine Flu!?!

In case you have been living on a deserted island or in Osama Bin Forgottens cave for the past few days you should check out this article on this much hyped global killer: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/29/swine.flu/index.html

Mark this date: April 2, 2009. That was the beginning of the end for mankind as we know it, that is, if you believe the media hype surrounding the Swine Flu. That is when young Edgar Hernandez of Mexico, or "patient zero" as the media have dubbed him, caught the flu from the pig farm next door, as reported by his mother. (Which gives me a great idea for a top 5 nickname segment coming to you soon).

Since that date thousands of people have died and hundreds of thousands more have become infected with Swine Flu... (what?)... (are you serious?)... (thousands of people haven't died?)... (WTF).

Apparently only a couple hundred people have died. But, that's still pretty bad. I mean, think about it, there are 6 billion people in the word and a couple hundred have died from Swine Flu this month. (what?)... (that's still not really that bad)... (will someone tell me the straight poop!)

Ok, it breaks down like this. Each year about 36,000 Americans die from flu related causes. You saw that right, thirty-six thousand. That's every year and that's not the Swine Flu. That's just your run of the mill, everyday, good ol' red, white and blue, American flu. So far, Swine Flu has killed one person in the U.S. and that kid came from Mexico to Houston for treatment (does that really count). So what's the big deal about Swine Flu, has it really been that bad, or is it just a slow news week? Maybe this is just an economic diversion, after all, even President Obama said we may have to close our schools should the problem worsen (nicely played Mr. President).

Let's put some perspective on this problem. Here are a few things that have killed more people in the U.S. than Swine Flu to date;

- O.J. Simpson - 2 people (unconfirmed)
- Falling t.v.'s - 5 per year (more dangerous than sharks, 0.8 per year, in the U.S.)
- Snake bites - 12 per year (over 100,000 per year in the whole wide world)
- Dog attacks - 20 per year (probably pit bulls, why couldn't that kid have lived next to Michael Vick, then it would be the Pit Bull Flu, imagine the panic then)
- Crossing the street in Chicago - 56 in 2008 (didn't your mom teach you to look both ways)
- Lightening - 73 per year (that's just shocking)
- Bee stings - 100 per year (I don't BEElieve it)
- Hitting a deer with your car - 150 per year (I always knew Bambi was a killer)
- Tripping and falling down while walking - 600 per year (if can't walk without dying, you probably deserve it)

Here's a stat that I thought was really good; Falling coconuts kill, on average, 150 people per year (that's a worldwide stat). Falling coconuts are almost as deadly as swine flu... and the World Health Organization nor the Center for Disease Control are considering coconuts a pandemic.

Last year more people were beheaded in Mexico (200) by drug cartels than have been killed there, thus far,by Swine Flu.

Now let's talk about some REAL killers (all U.S. stats);

- Alcohol related deaths - 19,000 per year. (that's a lot of drinking problems)
- Alzheimer's disease - 71,600 per year (I almost forgot about this one)
- Accidents (unintentional injuries): 117,809 (whoops!)
- Iatrogenic causes - 250,000. (Say What?) Iatrogenic are problems induced in a patient by a physician's activity, manner, or therapy - especially a complication of treatment. I.E. something your doctor did wrong trying to save you.
- Cancer - 559,300
and the big-ee
- Heart disease - 652,000

150,000 people die per day on this planet, that's 1.8 persons per second. If Swine Flu hopes of even catching "death by elephant (500 yearly)," it better get to work.

In other words it's hype. Swine Flu is the hot topic of the moment, soon to be replaced by a famous celebrity death (not enough per year), closing car companies (more than you'd think this year), a plane crash (1300 per year), or the staple American story; the economy (killing my Benjamins as I type).

When this is all said and done, I will post related figures here... or I won't if I'm dead.

p.s. They said the day we elect a black president would be the same day pigs would fly... just 100 days in office and, you guessed it, Swine Flu.

Air Force One Flyover Far From Fly

I'm sure you have heard by now that thousands of New Yorkers were sent into a panic yesterday (4/27/09) when Air Force One buzzed New York's Liberty Island for a photo op of the plane with the Statue of Liberty serving as the backdrop. If not check it out here...
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/04/28/low.flying.plane/index.html

Now, I'm no FAA aviation expert, or post-traumatic psychologist, or professional White House aide, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but apparently I am still smarter than the schmuck who coordinated this effort for the FAA, the Air Force, and the White House.

I don't know, call me crazy, but if I am planning on flying a 747 1500 ft. over New York City I might wanna pick up the phone and give the mayor a call, perhaps even the president. At the very least I would put out a PRESS RELEASE so that the local media could put the word in the streets as to not cause a panic. But, gosh, who would have thought New Yorkers would panic with a big plane flying around buildings in New York FRICKIN City... you dumbasses.

But I digress. That is not really what upsets me most about this incident, what upsets me is the fact that someone thinks it's ok to fuel up a 747 and fly it around national treasures (like the Statue of Liberty) for the purpose of taking a press photo. A press photo. Let me say that one more time... a press photo.

You mean to tell me when our country is in one of the worse economic downturns in history someone thinks it's ok to spend 328,000 of my tax dollars flying a plane all over the country so that they can hand out pictures of it to the press. Again, not an expert, but why don't we just take a picture of the thing sitting on the ground. What? Not patriotic enough for you, ok, park it in front of a hanger, drop a big ol' flag behind that sucker, and snap a picture. There you go. Easy. Cheap. Done. And, no one thought it was going to crash into their office.

Smokers Tax Ain't Whack

So smokers are feeling abused over a tax hike in the purchase of cigarettes. See article here - http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/01/cigarette.tax/index.html. That's to bad smokers, but I can certainly understand your plight.

The biggest argument for a higher tax on cigarettes is that the health care cost of taking care of a smoker vs. a non-smoker is almost 40% higher.

That's a crap load.

What that means is the insurance I pay is significantly higher because my health care money is also used to help care for that guy that thought is was cool to suck smoke into his lungs for 30 years. However, making everyone quit smoking is not going to bring health care cost down. What you say?

According to the New England Journal of Medicine in a population of non-smokers the health care cost would be 7% higher in men and 4% higher for women than in the existing population of mixed smokers and non-smokers. Why... because more people live longer. Crazy huh?

So, why do I support a higher tax for you crazy ass smokers... cause I hate smelling your smoke. And, as the son of a mother who smoked for thirty years and now is fighting cancer, I'd pay 7% more overall to spend a few more years with her.

p.s. Want more affordable health care? 25% of all health care cost are spent on a persons last 3 months of life. In other words 25% of all health care is spent in a losing effort that doesn't result in an improved quality of life. This is a huge problem with the health care system that that needs to be addressed by politicians, doctors, and health care officials. How can an individual help? Learn when to say when.