Monday, December 20, 2010
Things I Learned This Week - Women... sheesh!
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
In Local News: I Crapped My Pants
How gullible are Oklahomans?
Seriously?
A 21-year old man on two different occasions fooled babysitters into watching him at their homes by claiming to be an autistic child named "Alex." In both cases the babysitters changed his soiled diaper, feed him from a bottle, and read him bedtime stories.
Mark Anthony Richardson Jr. claims he was "seeking sexual stimulation" (no shit) by posing as both the father of an autistic boy, when he solicited babysitters off Craigslist to care for an autistic child, and the child himself. The 4'-9" tall lollipop guild member would then dress himself in kids clothes and diapers, deliver himself to the would be babysitters, and pretend to be autistic.
In one case he delivered himself at 2am to a sitter and was standing on the porch saying "4121" over and over... 4121 was the address of the house. When he was brought inside he had a envelope with $40 dollars in it and a note that said he needed to be fed and he was wearing a soiled diaper that required changing.
The sitters claim that on several occasions they would start to change him and he would get up and run around the house. They would have to catch him to finish changing his diaper.
In both cases the sitters pointed out that they noticed Alex would become aroused whenever they changed his diaper.
ehh.
I think the babysitters got what they deserved... I mean, is it really a crime if you convince a grown woman to change your sh!tty diaper while you pop wood. At what point do you, as the sitter, say... "this is f***ed up... there is just something not right here." At the very least you should say to yourself, "there is a gawd damn grown man running around my house, buck naked, with crap running down his leg and a boner... this ain't worth no damn $40."
In an interview with Richardson's mother she noted that he probably needs some psychological help and has some mental disabilities... well, what do you know... another Oklahoma genius.
http://newsok.com/oklahoma-city-man-admits-conning-baby-sitters-by-posing-as-autistic-and-wearing-diapers/article/3522781
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Reason #1 Why I Love The Internet: Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher
When someone ask, "why do you like the Internet?" Most people would answer with one of several "canned" responses.
"I like the ease to which one can access information and news events."
"I enjoy the never-ending barrage of entertainment music, movies, and videos."
"Porn."
"I love the ease in which the Internet allows me to stay in touch with my friends through Facebook or MySpace."
But, none of these reasons take the #1 spot when Slap Hand is asked why he likes the Internet. My #1 reason is because Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher.
So, who is Curtis and who slapped him? Let's delve into Curtis' life and that of his crazy ass mother.
Curtis Bowen is a 4th grader at Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary school in the Kansas City Missouri school district. Curtis, for whatever reason, was slapped across the face by Ms. Curry sometime between 9:45 and 10:15 on October 19th, 2010. A second student, Shyree Adams, questioned why Ms. Curry slapped Curtis and she too was slapped across the face. Curtis and Shyree informed their homeroom teacher, Ms. Brown, of the incident and it was reported to the principle, Mr. Wilson. Ms. Curry was made to apologize to the children by Mr. Wilson. Then Mr. Wilson made the biggest mistake of his adult life.
We all have one, whether we know them or not. In most cases they offer unconditional love, support, and comfort. From the day we are born they protect us, clean us, clean up after us, help us with homework, personal issues, money, and too many things to be listed in this article. They birthed us. They raised us. And, in some cases... they are crazier than a shithouse rat.
Such is the case with Curtis' mom... just ask Mr. Wilson after he called her to inform her that her son just got slapped by Ms Curry. To say Curtis' mom lost it is an understatement. She has sunk, nay, risen to a completely unheard of level of absolute absurdity in freaking out.
I have no problems with Curtis' mom raising a stink... hell, I would. In this day and age a teacher should probably not discipline a child by slapping them across the face, despite the fact that when I was in school our principle would swat a kid with a hole-riddled wooden paddle if you got out of line... but this is a different age and studies show that blah, blah, blah... you get the drift. I don't even mind that she made it a black and white thing... for all I know Ms. Curry could be a crazy racist bull-dike who likes to beat kids and gets whatever discipline she deserves. She's more likely to be a little old gray haired lady that just did things differently in her day and slapped Curtis for getting out of line, but whatever.
What I can't imagine, in all my stink raising, even on my most crazed day, I could never imagine that I would demand that the school system fork over $250,000 for "damaging my sovereign property." But, then again... I'm not Curtis' mom. And, that bitch is K-razy!
How crazy? Curtis' mom penned a 40 page document demanding... are you ready for this;
1. That the school start a "we don't hit kids here" campaign, for teachers to sign a "we don't hit kids here" pledge, for a copy of said pledge to be placed in there personal file and filed with the Department of Social Services. And, that each teacher go to anger management workshops... weekly.
2. That Ms. Curry be fired and have her teacher license permanently revoked. That she pay personal restitution to all the kids that witnessed Curtis being slapped. That she write a hand written, notarized letter of apology to Curtis (notarized ???). That she be tarred, feathered and sodomized with a Louisville slugger... ok I made that last one up, but I bet we could sell Curtis' mom on it.
3. (Now we get real crazy) To be given to Curtis for having to deal with this emotional and physical abuse... apologies from everybody involved, plus... are you ready for it... you're not f***ing ready for it...
- a $1500 Walmart gift certificate each year for the next nine years to cover the cost of school supplies
- an ALL-EXPENSE paid 7-day trip to DISNEY WORLD annually for the next nine years, and this has to be read to be believed, it includes 5 round trip tickets, shuttle, tickets to Disney, $200 per Diem for food per person, lodging at the Polynesian resort, $1000 gift certificates to Trader Jacks, Samoa snacks, and Bou-Tiki, 5 tickets to Spirit of Aloha show, annual passes for 5, and all hotel expenses and gratuities paid for by the School District. (seriously???)
- an annual ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to Washington DC for Curtis, his dad and his sh!t ass stupid mother which includes round trip air fare and hotel lodging at "the best hotel in Washington. (Why not???)
- An ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to Southern, Eastern and West Africa (what no North Africa trip?) for 5, including first class airfare, ground transportation, 5 star resort, "the works." (F*** it... let's go for it all)
- a $600 monthly gift card to Price Chopper for the next nine years.
- A personal audience with Dr. Cornell West, Dr. Eric Dyson, Dr. Francis Cress Welsing, and Minister Louis Farakkan... paid for by the district.
- Jazz lessons weekly, including bass, drum, piano, and sax, from musicians that probably don't even do lessons. Oh, and she wants all new instruments for Curtis on the district's dime.
And it goes on...
4. For herself, I guess for having to deal with this sh!t and write a 40 page letter she wants...
- All of her bills paid for the next 9 years.
- Her house remodeled to "her specifications and comfort level."
- A new car
- Her old car fixed up.
- Monthly or Quarterly meetings with all the Doctors that she wants Curtis to meet.
- Medical and Dental coverage
- A job consulting with the Kansas City Missouri School District that pays her $15,000 a month.
- And finally a membership to Golds Gym... cause she's got to be in shape!
Want further proof that Curtis' mom has lost her friggin mind.
- She calls the Kansas City Missouri school system a "global industrial prison complex" that is only out to kill her kid.
- She says she will not tolerate harassment by school officials, the police, or social services because of her actions.
- She says there will be no "mind control tactics" by any agency of the federal, state, local, or any other entity. (Mind Control... who does she think works for the KC School District Professor Xavier)
- There will be no "stuff" put in her food or water, no "mysterious deaths," no medical experimentation, no smear campaigns. (yeah cause the KC School District considers you a threat to School security, they are going to send in their assassins to take you out.)
- You will not take her medical, physical, or emotional support away.
- You will not tamper with her jazz career or blacklist her from anything.
She further states that if you think she has gone overboard then you can "KISS MY ENTIRE BLACK ASS." And, that if anyone from the district would like to get together to discuss this then she will bill $3000 an hour for her time, $3000 an hour for her husbands time, and $5000 an hour for Curtis' time. I'm no expert but that's a little pricey. I mean if I'm spending eleven thou an hour it's gonna be with someone that doesn't hate my f***ing guts.
It is an epic letter to say the least. I've just hit the highlights... after all it's 40 f***ing pages of complete nonsense. You really need to read the whole thing to get a complete idea of how insane Curtis' mom really is. The woman copyrighted Cutris' name and image throughout the letter. She CC'd President Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama, a whole bunch of Senators and all the officials in the Kansas City educational system. She is bat-sh!t crazy.
God I hope the school pays up. Her request would, like, triple their annual budget. If they pay up, I'm sending my kids there... they are going to act up, cuss, piss in the halls, punch people, key cars... whatever it takes to get slapped in the face. Those teachers wouldn't know what hell hit them when I was done.
In all this Curtis' mom makes my point like nothing before her... there is no censer button on the Internet. It's f***ing beautiful. And, that's why I love the Internet. God bless America and the internets.
http://www.curtisgotslappedbyawhiteteacher.com/
"I like the ease to which one can access information and news events."
"I enjoy the never-ending barrage of entertainment music, movies, and videos."
"Porn."
"I love the ease in which the Internet allows me to stay in touch with my friends through Facebook or MySpace."
But, none of these reasons take the #1 spot when Slap Hand is asked why he likes the Internet. My #1 reason is because Curtis Got Slapped By A White Teacher.
So, who is Curtis and who slapped him? Let's delve into Curtis' life and that of his crazy ass mother.
Curtis Bowen is a 4th grader at Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary school in the Kansas City Missouri school district. Curtis, for whatever reason, was slapped across the face by Ms. Curry sometime between 9:45 and 10:15 on October 19th, 2010. A second student, Shyree Adams, questioned why Ms. Curry slapped Curtis and she too was slapped across the face. Curtis and Shyree informed their homeroom teacher, Ms. Brown, of the incident and it was reported to the principle, Mr. Wilson. Ms. Curry was made to apologize to the children by Mr. Wilson. Then Mr. Wilson made the biggest mistake of his adult life.
We all have one, whether we know them or not. In most cases they offer unconditional love, support, and comfort. From the day we are born they protect us, clean us, clean up after us, help us with homework, personal issues, money, and too many things to be listed in this article. They birthed us. They raised us. And, in some cases... they are crazier than a shithouse rat.
Such is the case with Curtis' mom... just ask Mr. Wilson after he called her to inform her that her son just got slapped by Ms Curry. To say Curtis' mom lost it is an understatement. She has sunk, nay, risen to a completely unheard of level of absolute absurdity in freaking out.
I have no problems with Curtis' mom raising a stink... hell, I would. In this day and age a teacher should probably not discipline a child by slapping them across the face, despite the fact that when I was in school our principle would swat a kid with a hole-riddled wooden paddle if you got out of line... but this is a different age and studies show that blah, blah, blah... you get the drift. I don't even mind that she made it a black and white thing... for all I know Ms. Curry could be a crazy racist bull-dike who likes to beat kids and gets whatever discipline she deserves. She's more likely to be a little old gray haired lady that just did things differently in her day and slapped Curtis for getting out of line, but whatever.
What I can't imagine, in all my stink raising, even on my most crazed day, I could never imagine that I would demand that the school system fork over $250,000 for "damaging my sovereign property." But, then again... I'm not Curtis' mom. And, that bitch is K-razy!
How crazy? Curtis' mom penned a 40 page document demanding... are you ready for this;
1. That the school start a "we don't hit kids here" campaign, for teachers to sign a "we don't hit kids here" pledge, for a copy of said pledge to be placed in there personal file and filed with the Department of Social Services. And, that each teacher go to anger management workshops... weekly.
2. That Ms. Curry be fired and have her teacher license permanently revoked. That she pay personal restitution to all the kids that witnessed Curtis being slapped. That she write a hand written, notarized letter of apology to Curtis (notarized ???). That she be tarred, feathered and sodomized with a Louisville slugger... ok I made that last one up, but I bet we could sell Curtis' mom on it.
3. (Now we get real crazy) To be given to Curtis for having to deal with this emotional and physical abuse... apologies from everybody involved, plus... are you ready for it... you're not f***ing ready for it...
- a $1500 Walmart gift certificate each year for the next nine years to cover the cost of school supplies
- an ALL-EXPENSE paid 7-day trip to DISNEY WORLD annually for the next nine years, and this has to be read to be believed, it includes 5 round trip tickets, shuttle, tickets to Disney, $200 per Diem for food per person, lodging at the Polynesian resort, $1000 gift certificates to Trader Jacks, Samoa snacks, and Bou-Tiki, 5 tickets to Spirit of Aloha show, annual passes for 5, and all hotel expenses and gratuities paid for by the School District. (seriously???)
- an annual ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to Washington DC for Curtis, his dad and his sh!t ass stupid mother which includes round trip air fare and hotel lodging at "the best hotel in Washington. (Why not???)
- An ALL-EXPENSE paid trip to Southern, Eastern and West Africa (what no North Africa trip?) for 5, including first class airfare, ground transportation, 5 star resort, "the works." (F*** it... let's go for it all)
- a $600 monthly gift card to Price Chopper for the next nine years.
- A personal audience with Dr. Cornell West, Dr. Eric Dyson, Dr. Francis Cress Welsing, and Minister Louis Farakkan... paid for by the district.
- Jazz lessons weekly, including bass, drum, piano, and sax, from musicians that probably don't even do lessons. Oh, and she wants all new instruments for Curtis on the district's dime.
And it goes on...
4. For herself, I guess for having to deal with this sh!t and write a 40 page letter she wants...
- All of her bills paid for the next 9 years.
- Her house remodeled to "her specifications and comfort level."
- A new car
- Her old car fixed up.
- Monthly or Quarterly meetings with all the Doctors that she wants Curtis to meet.
- Medical and Dental coverage
- A job consulting with the Kansas City Missouri School District that pays her $15,000 a month.
- And finally a membership to Golds Gym... cause she's got to be in shape!
Want further proof that Curtis' mom has lost her friggin mind.
- She calls the Kansas City Missouri school system a "global industrial prison complex" that is only out to kill her kid.
- She says she will not tolerate harassment by school officials, the police, or social services because of her actions.
- She says there will be no "mind control tactics" by any agency of the federal, state, local, or any other entity. (Mind Control... who does she think works for the KC School District Professor Xavier)
- There will be no "stuff" put in her food or water, no "mysterious deaths," no medical experimentation, no smear campaigns. (yeah cause the KC School District considers you a threat to School security, they are going to send in their assassins to take you out.)
- You will not take her medical, physical, or emotional support away.
- You will not tamper with her jazz career or blacklist her from anything.
She further states that if you think she has gone overboard then you can "KISS MY ENTIRE BLACK ASS." And, that if anyone from the district would like to get together to discuss this then she will bill $3000 an hour for her time, $3000 an hour for her husbands time, and $5000 an hour for Curtis' time. I'm no expert but that's a little pricey. I mean if I'm spending eleven thou an hour it's gonna be with someone that doesn't hate my f***ing guts.
It is an epic letter to say the least. I've just hit the highlights... after all it's 40 f***ing pages of complete nonsense. You really need to read the whole thing to get a complete idea of how insane Curtis' mom really is. The woman copyrighted Cutris' name and image throughout the letter. She CC'd President Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama, a whole bunch of Senators and all the officials in the Kansas City educational system. She is bat-sh!t crazy.
God I hope the school pays up. Her request would, like, triple their annual budget. If they pay up, I'm sending my kids there... they are going to act up, cuss, piss in the halls, punch people, key cars... whatever it takes to get slapped in the face. Those teachers wouldn't know what hell hit them when I was done.
In all this Curtis' mom makes my point like nothing before her... there is no censer button on the Internet. It's f***ing beautiful. And, that's why I love the Internet. God bless America and the internets.
http://www.curtisgotslappedbyawhiteteacher.com/
Things That I Found Funny This Week
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)