Tidbits and One Tidbutt

Cradle Robber... Really? - 51-year old Doug Hutchinson, you know him from "The Green Mile" and "Lost," married his 16-year old sweetheart, Courtney Alexis Stodden, on May 20.

The crime here isn't that a 51-year old dirty man married a 16-year old girl, NO, it's that he's trying to pass this chick off as being 16 year's old.

Seriously, look at her (pictured above), there is NO F***ING WAY she is 16. She was 16... 14 year ago.

Apparently her mom had to sign off on the wedding since she is considered a minor... did they have to sign off on the breast implants too? How about those black roots? The crows feet? The old lady trying to be young makeup?

http://www.ecanadanow.com/entertainment/2011/06/21/doug-hutchinson-and-courtney-alexis-stodden-marry/

Dunn Dead - Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame was killed this week in a fiery, 140 mile per hour car crash that, let's face it, any fan of Jackass would have loved to have seen in real life. The guy was famous for being a Jackass and, well, there you go. One interesting side note of this story, it has been wildly entertaining reading in all the major news outlets that Dunn was famous for "placing a toy car in a condom and placing it in his anus" as a prank on Jackass.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/06/20/jackass.star.dead/index.html?iref=obinsite

Are You F***ing Serious - Lindsay Lohan has done it AGAIN.

While under house arrest Lohan had a "roof party" and then promptly failed a court-ordered alcohol test this past week.

At a "conference" with an L.A. judge it was ruled Thursday that Lohan's failed alcohol test won't be held against her because of an apparent technical error by a previous judge. The judge told Lohan she was guilty of "extremely poor judgement by having roof parties while on home confinement, but poor judgment is not a violation of your probation."

GAWD DAM IT, WTF. What's she got to do, kill a baby and eat it. For Christ sake won't somebody sack up and put this chick behind bars for real. JESUS! What a f***ing joke! At this point in the game shouldn't she have a cool bad-guy nickname like recently captured mob guy James "Whitey" Bulger. Lindsay "Slick as Snot" Lohan. Lindsay "The MC Hammer of Crime" Lohan ("you can't touch this," in case you missed the reference). Lindsay "Bulletproof" Lohan. Ah, hell, let's just call her C**t-Stuff. That fits.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/23/lindsay-lohan-arrives-at-court/?hpt=hp_bn5

Okie's Not O.K. - Recently while in L.A. for some cool-ass celebrity type crap, Oklahoma icon and favorite son, Kevin Durant, was asked "what was there to do for fun in Oklahoma?" to which Durantula replied "nuttin."

This of course inflamed many Oklahomans who think their state kicks ass. Consequently the young Thunder star has been taking some heat in the local media.

So, let me put this baby to rest. I live here. There is nothing to do here. Period. At least compared to N.Y., L.A., Miami, or even Dallas... where a 23 year old kid with money can do ANYTHING he f***ing wants to do.

OKC is perfect for a NBA baller who doesn't want all the big city distractions while trying to win a championship. It's perfect for Durant at this stage in life... but don't expect him to stick around all summer doing "nuttin."

And, for all you die-hard Okies, think back to when you were 23, was there anything to do here? So, shut up.

http://www.newsok.com/did-kevin-durant-diss-okc/article/3579197?custom_click=lead_story_photo

A Rose By Any Other Name... - A buddy of mine sent me an article from the Kansas City Star that reported on an armed robbery with a description of the assailant, it read:

"The robber fled on foot. The suspect is a black man in his mid-20s, about 5 feet 6 with a thin build. He wore a dark baseball cap, a knee-length white T-shirt and ankle-length grey shorts."

Wait... what? Ankle-length grey shorts... don't we call those pants?

http://www.kansascity.com/2011/06/23/2970396/robber-shoots-clerk-at-lenexa.html#ixzz1QDoTAjRo

Back That Thing Up - Kim Kardashian's big ass is real. Due to being asked day in and day out if her phat ass is real or implanted, Kim K went to doctors and had her booty x-rayed to prove that all that ass is for reals.

Guess what? All that junk is not funk. It's real and it's fabulous.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/24/kim-k-gets-x-ray-to-prove-her-butts-real/?hpt=hp_c2

Brilliant Idea: Texting a Picture of My Dick

Below is a list of times it is a good idea to send someone a picture of your penis.














OK, just kidding.

But, seriously when is it a good idea to send someone a pic of your junk?

Apparently, not when you are a married U.S. Congressman with a pregnant wife at home... nope, that's not a real good time. That's the kind of crap that gets you kicked out of office and gets the subject of your proud pic cut off in the middle of the night.

But, does sending chicks pictures of your balls and shaft necessarily make you a bad Congressman... maybe not. But lying about it for a week when your dumb ass knew that the only reason someone would be asking about it was because they had proof of it most certainly does. It shows me that your are a retard (with a crooked penis - google the pic) and therefore unworthy of representing the fine people of NY.

Not only that, but apparently your moral compass is all f***ed up and doesn't, unlike your rod, know what direction is up. Your married, with a child on the way and yet you think it's OK to send some chicks on Facebook pictures of your cock and talk all nasty with them. Is that where it ended, was there more?

Ask John Edwards how that turned out for him.

In the attached article it says Congressman Dick reached out to, friend, Bill Clinton to "express regret for his actions."

I'm no expert, but maybe being friends with a guy who "did not have sexual relations with that woman," yet, somehow part of his "sexual relations" ended up on her dress, is not the best idea in the world. Perhaps reaching out to a guy who likes to moisten his cigar tip with a little "cat nip" is not the right political move right now. That's like a smoker reaching out to the Marlboro man to ask how to quit or a sex addict asking Ron Jeremy how to not f*** so much. Dumbass. That's why you shouldn't be a Congressman you're to f***ing stupid.

Besides, who really gives a shit about pictures of franks and beans. After all, everyone does it. Right?

According to a recent MTV study 1 in 3 U.S. teens has participated in "sexting," the act of sending messages of a sexual nature to a recipient. 1 in 5 teens have sent a naked picture of themselves to someone else. Of naked pictures sent 17% of them are forwarded on to someone else.

That poses one very important question... Do these chicks have my number?

Apparently adults are not to far behind the youth of America. Therefore it comes as no surprise that a U.S. Congressman, would send someone a picture of his erect member or Congress. Hell, I keep a naked picture of myself on my phone just in case I need to send the wife one to wet her appetite. (she knows she loves it). I think we all should.

However one needs to really evaluate how one's life would be affected if said picture would somehow get out in public or how things might go down if the picture was sent to the wrong person. For me, being Joe Nobody, if I sent a picture to the wrong person I'd get a reply back simply stating... "you're an idiot" from about 98% of the people in my contact list. The other 2% is made up of people who would be highly offended but whom I would not really care if I had offended and my wife, who would reply back to me, "my appetite is moist."

And, if the picture got out to the public, most people would just say stuff like, "good lord, is he carrying a club!" "What is that a white elephant?" "He is blessed" and "F********ck me." Ok, not really, but we can all dream. Actually, they'd just say, "HAHAHAHA."

Anyway, all I'm saying is don't be an idiot. Don't do stupid stuff. If you get married honor your wife by not being a sexual retard.

I have a theory that this all starts in the dating cycle. We try so hard to be someone who the person we are interested in would like that we don't show them who we actually are. In this case Mrs. Wiener probably never got a nasty Polaroid from Mr. Wiener that would have shown her that he is a total freak. Or, maybe she did and that is why she is so overly understanding of the situation... that, or he beats her. I don't have proof, I'm just saying.

Anyway. Kids, don't take pictures of your parts and send them to other kids. And girls, if you are over the age of 18, hot, and just have to do it... let me know... I'll send you my number.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/06/09/weiner.scandal/index.html?hpt=hp_t2