Brilliant Idea: Texting a Picture of My Dick

Below is a list of times it is a good idea to send someone a picture of your penis.














OK, just kidding.

But, seriously when is it a good idea to send someone a pic of your junk?

Apparently, not when you are a married U.S. Congressman with a pregnant wife at home... nope, that's not a real good time. That's the kind of crap that gets you kicked out of office and gets the subject of your proud pic cut off in the middle of the night.

But, does sending chicks pictures of your balls and shaft necessarily make you a bad Congressman... maybe not. But lying about it for a week when your dumb ass knew that the only reason someone would be asking about it was because they had proof of it most certainly does. It shows me that your are a retard (with a crooked penis - google the pic) and therefore unworthy of representing the fine people of NY.

Not only that, but apparently your moral compass is all f***ed up and doesn't, unlike your rod, know what direction is up. Your married, with a child on the way and yet you think it's OK to send some chicks on Facebook pictures of your cock and talk all nasty with them. Is that where it ended, was there more?

Ask John Edwards how that turned out for him.

In the attached article it says Congressman Dick reached out to, friend, Bill Clinton to "express regret for his actions."

I'm no expert, but maybe being friends with a guy who "did not have sexual relations with that woman," yet, somehow part of his "sexual relations" ended up on her dress, is not the best idea in the world. Perhaps reaching out to a guy who likes to moisten his cigar tip with a little "cat nip" is not the right political move right now. That's like a smoker reaching out to the Marlboro man to ask how to quit or a sex addict asking Ron Jeremy how to not f*** so much. Dumbass. That's why you shouldn't be a Congressman you're to f***ing stupid.

Besides, who really gives a shit about pictures of franks and beans. After all, everyone does it. Right?

According to a recent MTV study 1 in 3 U.S. teens has participated in "sexting," the act of sending messages of a sexual nature to a recipient. 1 in 5 teens have sent a naked picture of themselves to someone else. Of naked pictures sent 17% of them are forwarded on to someone else.

That poses one very important question... Do these chicks have my number?

Apparently adults are not to far behind the youth of America. Therefore it comes as no surprise that a U.S. Congressman, would send someone a picture of his erect member or Congress. Hell, I keep a naked picture of myself on my phone just in case I need to send the wife one to wet her appetite. (she knows she loves it). I think we all should.

However one needs to really evaluate how one's life would be affected if said picture would somehow get out in public or how things might go down if the picture was sent to the wrong person. For me, being Joe Nobody, if I sent a picture to the wrong person I'd get a reply back simply stating... "you're an idiot" from about 98% of the people in my contact list. The other 2% is made up of people who would be highly offended but whom I would not really care if I had offended and my wife, who would reply back to me, "my appetite is moist."

And, if the picture got out to the public, most people would just say stuff like, "good lord, is he carrying a club!" "What is that a white elephant?" "He is blessed" and "F********ck me." Ok, not really, but we can all dream. Actually, they'd just say, "HAHAHAHA."

Anyway, all I'm saying is don't be an idiot. Don't do stupid stuff. If you get married honor your wife by not being a sexual retard.

I have a theory that this all starts in the dating cycle. We try so hard to be someone who the person we are interested in would like that we don't show them who we actually are. In this case Mrs. Wiener probably never got a nasty Polaroid from Mr. Wiener that would have shown her that he is a total freak. Or, maybe she did and that is why she is so overly understanding of the situation... that, or he beats her. I don't have proof, I'm just saying.

Anyway. Kids, don't take pictures of your parts and send them to other kids. And girls, if you are over the age of 18, hot, and just have to do it... let me know... I'll send you my number.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/06/09/weiner.scandal/index.html?hpt=hp_t2