Shark Attack

Jessica Alba and friends recently "tagged" several billboards, landmarks, and utility boxes (???) with posters of great white sharks in downtown Oklahoma City to bring attention to the sharks dwindling numbers in the worlds oceans.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b128253_jessica_alba_loves_jaws_breaks_laws.html?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories

I have several issues with the stupidity of this and one "white shark" whopper of an idea to better get the word to the streets.

Let's start with what's stupid.

Point number 1; To bring attention to the plight of great white sharks you plaster signs up in Oklahoma City. You do realize your in the Midwest and, while we do have a white shark population problem here, it is by no means any fault to which their numbers are declining in the ocean. I'm no oceanographer nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night but I think it probably has to do with the fact there is no effing ocean here.

Point number 2; You are in Oklahoma City, who cares. I live here and I barely noticed. Now if you would have vandalized the OU football stadium or anything around Norman that mentions their precious football team... that would have really got some attention. It would have probably gotten you killed, but would have definitely garnered more concern from the Sooner Nuts out there. Asking someone in the OKC to care about sharks is like asking someone from Cali to care that wheat crop yields are down 30% this year. They just don't really give a crap.

Point number 3; that hat is stupid. The gangster hat with tank top is not a good look for you or anyone. Might I recommend a ballcap next time. Maybe an OU hat, again, anything to appease the Sooner Nuts works in OK.

Point number 4; At the time you really thought that was a good idea. I find it hard to believe that your train of thought was... "well, this is awesome. Were gonna bring attention of white shark genocide to Oklahoma, where there is nothing but dirt for miles around, no ocean anywhere... but hey, I'm Jessica Alba, I'm frickin hot, I have an awesome perky butt and I'm out here at night, sneaking around OKC plastering shark posters up on stuff and letting friends take my picture to post on the Internet, no way this can go wrong... no frickin way!" "Really" says Seth Meyers.

So, let me help you and the sharks out Jess. You really want to help, I mean you REALLY want to help white sharks out... have someone scribble Save the Sharks on your belly and then take a nude shot of yourself to post on the Internet. I guarantee 96% of all men in the world would know about the plight of White Sharks within an hour and I would personally send in a few bucks to the charity of your choice, what ever that may be; Save the White Shark Alliance, Shark Posters for the Needy, Gorilla Glue International, or maybe even the United Way... whatever. Sex sells baby, sex sells!