For the Love of God, Someone Blow Mel

Mel Gibson may be the most misunderstood man in America.

In a series of recordings saved by Oksana Grigorieva (pronounced ga-old-dig her), Mels estranged wife, and released on Radaronline.com Mel is heard making all kinds of supposed crazy statements... but if you really listen to what Mel is saying I think you'll just hear a man just expressing his feelings... and his need for a blowjob.

"I deserve to be blown first! Before the f*cking Jacuzzi! Ok, I’ll burn the goddamn house up, but blow me first! How dare you!??!” - Mel wants a blowjob. I don't have a problem with that. Blowjobs ARE romantic... just ask any guy. And, if Oksana said "I will blow you before I get in the Jacuzzi," then sounds like to me she shoulda blown someone before they got in the Jacuzzi. Duh.

“I should’ve woken you up and said f*cking blow me bitch! I should’ve f*ckin’ woken you up and said blow me! You would’ve liked that better, yeah? But you need the goddamn sleep!” - I don't think Mel is expressing anger at Oksana in this statement, he is just looking for conformation. He coulda woke her up for his blowjob, which he states she would have liked to give him (what woman doesn't), but he didn't want to ruin her sleep... she needs her rest, he's just acknowledging that.

“You gotta push my f*cking buttons. And it’s not going to work with us! It’s not! I can’t get like this anymore!" - The man sounds like he is gonna have a heart attack while talking to her on the phone. He can hardly catch enough breath to call her a "useless c*nt." Why she gotta be pushin his buttons like that... does she want him to die? Is she trying to kill Mel? Who's wronging who here.

“Threaten ya? I’ll put you in a f *ckin rose garden you c*nt! You understand that? Because I’m capable of it. You understand that?” - Sounds like someone would appreciate some flowers from time to time.

“You look like a f***ing bitch in heat. And if you get raped by a pack of ni**ers it will be your fault. Alright? Because you provoked it.” - Totally misunderstood. Sure, he could have rephrased this better to make his point; "wow, you look sexy... you're HOT ... you got ass for days... put a week on it... any African-American man would love to sex that ass up... it's PHAT, pretty hot and tempting. umm." See, totally legit. Mel is so misunderstood

“You don’t have any f*ucking friends except me, and you treat me like shi*! So that’s why I’m so fucking angry, because I don’t have any friends! And I try and make one from you and you treat me like shit and you fucking used me!” - Why after being so nice to her would she refuse his friendship... it makes no sense to me. He gave her a home, a child, why would she not want to be his friend. This is a lonely man reaching out. It's just sad.

“You wanted the number of my therapist? Don’t you ever speak to him! Find your own goddamn therapist! Because you’ve got problems more than me!” - Probably the absolute best piece of advice Mel gave Oksana, other than to give the blow job before the Jacuzzi... don't use his therapist. Mel's therapist obviously needs to continue to concentrate on Mel's issues, they've got the "expressing yourself" part down pat, I think they probably have to work a little on style and tone, but they are making huge strides... Mel needs his therapist to concentrate on him, not distracted by another patient. And, obviously she has bigger problems than Mel, she may need several therapist and some clinical treatment. His problems pale in comparison to hers.

See, I think once you break it down and not just hear what Mel is saying but actually listen to what he says, it's not so bad. In fact, this sounds like a match made in heaven to me. True love, absolute true love.