Own Brad and Angelina's Home... Sort of

Holy crap, there was a freak show going on right under my nose and I didn't even know about it.

http://www.news9.com/Global/story.asp?S=11690113

Some whack jobs have created a house called "the Brangelina" in Edmond, OK dedicated to the ESSENCE of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their mushy weird ass relationship.

(for those of you who don't know, I live in Edmond)

Tulsa, OK artist XVALA (aka Jeff Hamilton) and New York sculptor Daniel Edwards have overseen construction of the home, which, on the outside looks like any other home in the surrounding neighborhood. However the house was constructed using the names, sayings, and the essences of Brad and Angelina's being to complete. Which basically looks like these two clowns just went over and tagged the house with spray paint, but whatever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl9FCWyRD3A

Apparently, it's not what is outside but what is inside that shows off the true nature of Brad, Angelina and their undying love (which may die soon). Two statues: one depicting Brad and Angelina in a sweet embrace (aka, gettin it on) titled "throes of passion" mounted on the ceiling above the bed. This masterpiece was created with the crushed wine glasses the Pitts drank from when they met on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The other statue which is in the foyer shows Angelina breastfeeding two babies... one on each boob. Awesome. Now that is some essence!

Call me crazy, but this "artist" sounds more like a "stalker" with "mental issues" who is crazier than a "shit house rat" and basically wanted to cop a feel on Brad and Angelina and this was the only way to get it done. I am willing to bet my first born that he masturbated on the statue. Right on Angelina's jugs... and probably her face. Just sayin.

And speaking of essence, I am also trying to figure out what other "essence" the builders were thinking of when they constructed this fine home. Would a new homeowner need to have the qualification of having cheated on his wife with a coworker? Or would a homeowner have to been previously married to a guy that insisted she wear a vial of his blood around her neck, or that makes out with her own brother? Do these homeowners need to have a kid that they have purchased from each continent? Does the new homeowner need to have been really awesome in a movie, like 12 Monkeys, and then totally ignored by the Oscars? Because that is the essence of Pitt and Jolie. Seriously what essence are they shooting for.

Anyway. Yes, I have driven by the house and aside from a sign outside that says "The Brangelina" you wouldn't know it was built by a couple of nuts. It's actually a nice looking house. For those of you interested in purchasing the home it does come with a caveat... both celebrities have full-time access year-round to the home. Yep, that's written in the contract.

So, if Brad Pitt, Angelina, and their brood, that now closely resembles a U.N. meeting, should show up on your doorstep you have to put them up for however long they want to stay.

I could see that. It's a random Tuesday evening and your doorbell rings. There stands Brad, "is this the Brangelina house?" "We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd drop in and stay a night or two."

You HAVE to let them in. I can see Brad and Angelina lounging on my couch while their wild banshees made of American, Southeast Asian, and African children run around tearing shit up.

I swear, if I was Brad Pitt, I'd do it. I'd just drop in some night and just make myself at home. Drink your beer. Make you watch some of my movies on your TV. Make sexually suggestive comments to your wife as we stare up at the statue of me and Angelina gettin in on mounted above your bed, "you like that honey... that statue is supposed to inspire 'sexual healing...' do you need some sexual heeling, we could bring art to life." Then I'd kick one of your kids out of their rooms and turn in for the night. I'd expect breakfast in the morning followed by more sexually suggestive comments like, "yes, I'd like milk in my coffee, but that's not the way momma does it," and point into the foyer at the breastfeeding statue. I'd stay for 8 days.

I am just absolutely amazed that someone thought this up and built it... in Oklahoma. And, that someone financed it (what kind of whack job is the banker). I also wonder if the two freak shows that inspired this house break up, do they tear the place down... cause seriously the essence would be gone.

p.s. I'd like to have five minutes alone with that statue before they destroy it.