Things I Learned This Week: The "Uh...What" Edition.

Ok, there are stupid questions.

Anderson Cooper brought 80's 'Growing Pains' star and born again Christian, Kirk Cameron, onto his show this past week to ask him about the mysterious bird and fish deaths around the world.

uh... what?

WTF does Kirk Cameron know about dead birds and fish. Well, as Cameron gently puts it to the dumbass (Cooper) that asked the question, "Well, I first think that they ought to call a veterinarian, not me. You know, I'm not the religious conspiracy theorist go-to guy particularly. But I think it's -- it's really kind of silly to try to equate birds falling out of the sky with some time -- some kind of an end-times theory."

Let me sarcastically translate that to my fellow readers, "Are you f***ing serious, that's why you had me come on the show, to talk about a bunch of dead f***ing birds, who gives a sh!t... for Christ sake Anderson you're an award winning journalist and you're pulling this out of your a$$. Go f*** yourself you dimwit."

That's a loose translation but I feel it's pretty balls on.

In Anderson's defense he did try to cross reference the mass bird and fish deaths that whack jobs contribute to crazy end of the world theories with the fact that Cameron starred in an popular Christian apocalyptic series called 'Left Behind," filmed in the early 2000's. I guess because he starred in this religious end of days movie, that, in Anderson's mind, this qualified him to discuss the possibility that dead birds = the apocalypse. At least Cameron had the gumption to admit that he is not an expert on the subject and even tried to dissuade viewers from believing that this is a sign of the end of the world unlike most paranoid Christian nut bags.

http://www.tvguide.com/News/Kirk-Cameron-Birds-1027442.aspx?rss=breakingnews
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I am the consensus #1 pick in the NFL draft and I will be guaranteed $50 million dollars and all the tail I can swing with... nay, I think I'll just stay in school and get my degree in Architecture.

uh... what?

That's what Stanford standout quarterback and future Architect, Andrew Luck, recently said to the world. Luck is passing up a guaranteed fifty million dollar contract for the 1st round pick because he wants to graduate with his degree in Architecture from Stanford.

Even if he is the #1 pick in next years draft he stands to lose, at least, $20 million of that $50 million because the NFL is in a contract year and one of the key sticking points is how much untested rookies are being paid for being in the top tier of draft picks. Plus, lets say some sh!t hot running back from Kansas State blows everyone's minds by rushing for 1600 yards 25 touchdowns, and does so by running through brick walls and 350 lb linemen and wins the Heisman and now all of the sudden every team wants him instead of Luck... then he would lose that much more money. And, on top of it all, he risk losing it all due to injury, poor performance, or just plain a$$ bad luck, all for his degree.

I thought kids that went to Stanford were supposed to be really smart and this is the dumbest f***ing decision in the world. I don't know if anyone has sat jr. down and explained to him... you can still work towards your degree and play professional football while collecting a big 'ol check from some NFL team. And, oh by the way if you blow out your ACL or get hit in the head to hard playing for Stanford... you might still be able to draw me a condo but you are not going to be doing it with $50 million dollars in the bank.

If he'd at least said he wanted to play for a National Championship I could see that... a little bit... but he loses 3 offensive linemen and his tight end and quite possibly his coach, Jim Harbaugh... because Harbaugh's no moron; teams are talking about paying him $6-7 million to coach in the NFL and he knows that's a lot more cheddar than the $1.5 he's making at Stanford.

Andrew, pull your head out of your butt and declare for the draft.

On the other side of the ball, I did talk to one guy that really appreciates your decision; Blane Gabbert says "thanks (dumbass)."

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=5995754
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In local news; Just because you are a really successful mayor doesn't mean your really successful at everything.

The Oklahoma City mayor is splitting from his wife of 32 years citing "total irreconcilable incompatibility."

uh... what?

I'm no marriage counselor but if it's total irreconcilable incompatibility then you gotta have a whole lot of hate for that person. To write something like that means that every fiber and thought in your body is the exact polar opposite of the whore your divorcing.

But, wow! Mayor Mick is going to the big "D." This is the same guy that put the entire city of Oklahoma City on a diet and got invited to the Today Show and Ellen DeGeneres show to talk about it... the same guy that has keep OKC in a relative good economy despite the sh!t tank that every other metro area in the country has fallen in... the same guy that had the fore site to bring a homeless NBA team (New Orleans) to town knowing that eventually the NBA would assist in placing another team (Seattle--dumbasses) here eventually thus increasing the economy of the downtown area by millions, possibly billions of dollars... the same guy that recently was elected the 2nd best mayor in the whole f***ing world by the London based World Mayor Project.

Yep... that's the one.

Despite accomplishing all that he just couldn't stand to be married to that life sucking b!tch one minute longer. That says a lot.

In response, the mayors future ex-wife stated that it was a very personal, emotional, and painful decision and that if followed years of marital counseling. She also added, "I still love him and want to stay married. It was not a mutual decision."

When asked for a response a spokesman for the mayor said that the mayor "will have no further comment on the matter," which is a polite way of saying "F*** that!"

p.s. I think he's f***ing someone on the side already. You wait... it'll get spilled by the press soon. He'll be seen out on the town with his former secretary or something.

http://newsok.com/mayors-wife-responds-to-filing/article/3529880#ixzz1AH2FJWo6