How to Quit With Panache

There hasn't been a time that I have flown somewhere when I haven't felt like kicking the holy sh!t out of some rude ass douche bag on the plane.

The guy I most want to beat the crap out of is the one carrying a garment bag, a laptop bag, pulling a carry on with a paper under his arm. It literally takes him 5 minutes to stow everything and he takes up an entire overhead bin. He always wants the isle seat so the passengers wanting the other seats have to step over him. I'm always behind this guy... waiting. Even at security, I'm waiting on him to empty his pockets, un-stow his laptop, pull out his baggy of liquids, take his shoes off, take his jacket off, fill up 4 f***ing plastic bins, and walk through that damn metal detector 3 times before every piece of metal is off his body.

I f***ing hate that guy. If they had let me carry on my pocket knife I would bury it in this guys back right as he's reaching for the overhead bin probably to the applause of everyone on board... but I digress.

With that said, I seriously don't know how flight attendants deal with the constant retardedness they see on a day to day basis. From the never fliers, to the business wienies, to the family on vacation with the kids that won't shut the f*** up... I don't have a friggin clue how they cope.

So, my hat goes off to Steven Slater, a JetBlue Flight Attendant who apparently had his fill of the crap that goes on daily when one travels by air.

After being hit in the head by a passenger who was unloading a bag from the overhead compartment when he wasn't even supposed to be out of his seat, the flight attendant, Slater, demanded an apology. Instead the passenger offered up his own cleaver response... "F*** You."

That was the straw that broke the motherf***ing camels back!

"To the passenger who just called me a motherf***er: f*** you. I've been in this business 28 years, and I've had it."Slater yelled over the planes P.A. system. Followed by a tirade of cursing and screaming at the aforementioned passenger.

After the speech was done, Slater grabbed a couple of beers, opened the aircraft door, popped the motherf***ing emergency blow up slide and slid the f*** down. He was DONE!

Now that's quitting in style.

Unfortunately the coppers didn't think this as cool as SlapHand and slapped the cuffs on him at his house... see it's illegal to blow out the f***ing slide, steal some beers, and make like Shoots and Ladders.

We'll f*** them. We're behind you Slater... you can be my flight attendant anytime cause I'd love to hear over the P.A. "please return your seats and tray tables to their upright position... I said SIT THE F*** UP A$$HOLE... and next time, DON'T CARRY ON SO MUCH SH!T"

F***ing A right!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/08/10/new.york.escape.chute.opened/index.html?hpt=P1&iref=NS1