Trailer Park Dinner Party

Read this...

http://www.kansascity.com/2010/09/06/2202956/fight-during-dinner-led-to-stabbing.html

Did you catch all that.

Yep, it's dinner time at the trailer park. Let me give you a visual. Picture three people...

The Victim: He's a 39-year old burn out. Currently employed as a night janitor and fry cook at the local truck stop. He is the only one of the three dwellers of the home in the 900 block of S. Newton who actually works for a living. Because of his occupation the victim always smells like diesel fuel and the fried food that is sold at the truck stop.

The victim can not afford a house on his own as his 2nd ex-wife has a very tenacious lawyer that always seems to track him down and commands what little money he has for his alimony and child support payments (the kid is his, but he refuses to have a relationship with her).

He is currently providing sexual favors for the 70 year old mother of the suspect (did you catch that part in the article) for being allowed to live with a roof over his head. About once a week he pretty much has to do the deed. And, by "deed" I mean he has to bump ugly with his denture wearing diva. When the deed is done there is a foul smell about the trailer for approximately three days that reeks of stale fish, gasoline, and oddly enough, apple pie.

The victim also secretly is sneaking around on his 70 year old sugar momma with the girl he dated after he divorced his 3rd wife. She's a crack addict and uses him for food and money. They meet up regularly in the back of the truck stop or in her early 80's model Oldsmobile for what he calls his "hot momma hookup." He gives her leftover fried food from the truck stop and money, from time to time, for her kid (which is not his but he thinks it might be). The food and money are the only reason she still comes around. She spends the money he gives her on smack and gasoline for the car. She uses the car to turn tricks in when she is really desperate for some cash, which, lately, has been a lot. She has 2 venereal diseases that she is aware of.

The victim only showers every 3rd day as he finds that his stench acts as a good repellent to the sexual desires of his ancient lover. But her sense of smell is starting to go due to her 2 pack a day smoking habit and he is desperately searching for some other deterrent.

Due to his job his long un-groomed hair always looks greasy. His co-workers call him Two-Bit, which he thinks is a compliment. They are actually calling him that because of his greasy hair and Two-Bit was a Greaser in the movie The Outsiders. He knows this, he just doesn't care because The Outsiders is his favorite movie and he likes the idea that his nickname comes from one of the characters.

He goes through life always wondering what he did wrong to deserve such a fate, when everyone that knows him expected that this is exactly the way his life would turn out.

Our victim is a drunk.

The Suspect: The 51-year old son of the victim's lover is the actual owner of the trailer in the 900 block of S. Newton where all three of our citizens reside.

The suspect is a forklift operator at a nearby lumber yard where has been employed for the last 23 years but has not been to work in 8 months. He is currently collecting a disability check for a strained back that stopped hurting 6 months ago. He is trying to figure out how to milk that check for the next 4 months which is the maximum allowed disability he can collect. He has been on some form of disability or workers comp for the past 3 years and has actually only worked 73 days in that time. He is already planning for his next injury and is trying to work up the courage to run his torso over with the forklift he operates which would surely keep him out for the remainder of his working life and give him a decent payout for permanent disability.

The suspect has never been married as most women find his 320+ pounds on his 5' 9" frame rather revolting. And, for what he lacks in physical prowess he makes up for with a generally disgruntled attitude. He despises the world and everyone in it. He hates you.

When the suspect is not arguing with his aging mother he is surfing for porn on the Internet in his bedroom. He is into kid porn. If the police were to happen to look under his bed he would be doing serious time for child pornography and not just assault. He whacks his bag at least 8 time a day. He hasn't had actual sex since he was in his late 20's but blames that not on his physical appearance nor his lack of anything that would remotely resemble charm, but on that fact that all women are b!tches.

He argues with his mom almost as much as he whacks his bag, but she, for some reason, has a death grip on his balls that prevents him from actually ever doing anything that he threatens to do which is pretty much the only thing preventing him from holding a pillow over her head when she's asleep, burning her body, and burying the ashes in the back yard.

Our suspect has the mental capacity of 13-year old.

The Mother: 70-years old and looks like a leather bag. She has a nasty hacking non-ending cough due to her cigarette habit. She probably has emphysema but would never know it because she refuses to go the doctor.

She met her live in lover while purchasing smokes at the local truck stop... which she frequented often. On one trip there she noticed a rather un-kept truck stop employee sneaking a peek at her rather large bosom (her only redeeming feature when she was young). He was gazing at her wrinkly cleavage when she introduced herself. She invited the man over for a drink after work and being a drunk he accepted. Her lover has been residing with her and her son for the last 2 1/2 years.

She plays bingo every Tuesday night and on those evenings has been known to go through 3 packs of her beloved Virginia Slims (Menthol) in one 3 hour sitting. She is also a gin drinker.

The father of her son was a man she met in a bar in 1958... she was 18 and despite her unflattering facial features she attracted the attention of many men because of her mis-proportionately large bust; she fell in love with him immediately. After a month she discovered she was pregnant. For 2 years she lived with him, never marrying, but she told every new person they met that they were married. After work one evening at the choke and puke off the highway she found her baby's daddy on their living room floor; buck naked and bleeding from the temple... he'd been beaten with bowling trophy by a woman he was sleeping with in their bed and never regained consciousness. He died three weeks later. The woman that was arrested for the murder claims to have been sleeping with him on and off for "4 lousy years."

To deal with the trauma the doctor administered her sleeping pills and downers that she became addicted to. For the next 30+ years she was hooked on some drug or another about as often as she was hooked up with some strange man. Her son called 11 different men "dad" between the ages of 3 and 18. She had two other children with two different men during this time, one she gave up for adoption and the other she raised until she ran away at the age of 14. She was visited by social services 6 times during this period of her life for suspected abuse and unsanitary living conditions. She has never been contacted by her other children.

At the age of 58 she kicked her drug habit for good but her cigarette "here and there" went to two packs a day and the gin drinking tripled. Smoked and sauced she lives on welfare and social security and off of her deadbeat son whom she commands like a whipped puppy.

Our mother is a bitter old hag with big saggy boobs and access to alcohol.

The Party: The daily lives of these three are as horrid as you can imagine. Not a week goes by without a fist fight between the victim and the suspect. The victim always threatens to leave, the woman consoles him with alcohol and rotty crotch sex, and then threatens the son to not "stir up the pot" or his little porn collection will disappear along with his computer. It's a vicious circle of dependency much like that of a crack whore and her abusive pimp.

This one fateful evening however will change their lives forever. This evening their constant bickering and backstabbing and cootch cuddling crossed over into the next level.

After a particularly stressful day of surfing porn with his slow ass dial up connection and dealing with a nasty computer virus that destroyed some of his most prized pics of 13-year old Taiwanese twin girls, the suspect was in a delicate temporal mood.

Our Victim's mood was also on the verge of irresponsible anger. He was regretfully preparing for his evening of cleaning up after truckers and deep fat frying chimichangas and corn dogs. His sullen attitude caused him to hit the booze particularly early this evening to erase the memory of a little "afternoon delight" with his decrepit lover.

The house was fresh with the smell of gas covered fish-apple pie.

Those two moods, plus a serving of some of the worst fried chicken ever prepared by the lover/mother of these soon to be brawlers, cultivated into the perfect storm of trailerhood life. It started when the victim tried to play father to his lovers son after he refused to finish his dinner in the living room (because that's where you eat in a trailer). When confronted about finishing said meal our suspect had all he could take from his 12-year younger flunky of a father figure and stabbed our victim in the abdomen several times. And the fight ensued until the adrenalin that was built up in both of them was depleted... about 27 seconds.

The trailer was a-rockin but not because he was a-knocking on his sexy 70-year olds sweet, yet dusty, vagina... it was because a 51-year old loser who'd been abused most of his life by his bosomy mother was puncturing the abdomen of her alcoholic, foul smelling lover.

The suspect fled into the night...

Our victim left lying on the floor...

A mother left to wash the dishes...

And, a Kansas City Star reporter would come calling in the night.

The rest is mobile home history.

In the trailer park we call this a Thursday.