Tidbits and One Tidbutt

Cradle Robber... Really? - 51-year old Doug Hutchinson, you know him from "The Green Mile" and "Lost," married his 16-year old sweetheart, Courtney Alexis Stodden, on May 20.

The crime here isn't that a 51-year old dirty man married a 16-year old girl, NO, it's that he's trying to pass this chick off as being 16 year's old.

Seriously, look at her (pictured above), there is NO F***ING WAY she is 16. She was 16... 14 year ago.

Apparently her mom had to sign off on the wedding since she is considered a minor... did they have to sign off on the breast implants too? How about those black roots? The crows feet? The old lady trying to be young makeup?

http://www.ecanadanow.com/entertainment/2011/06/21/doug-hutchinson-and-courtney-alexis-stodden-marry/

Dunn Dead - Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame was killed this week in a fiery, 140 mile per hour car crash that, let's face it, any fan of Jackass would have loved to have seen in real life. The guy was famous for being a Jackass and, well, there you go. One interesting side note of this story, it has been wildly entertaining reading in all the major news outlets that Dunn was famous for "placing a toy car in a condom and placing it in his anus" as a prank on Jackass.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/06/20/jackass.star.dead/index.html?iref=obinsite

Are You F***ing Serious - Lindsay Lohan has done it AGAIN.

While under house arrest Lohan had a "roof party" and then promptly failed a court-ordered alcohol test this past week.

At a "conference" with an L.A. judge it was ruled Thursday that Lohan's failed alcohol test won't be held against her because of an apparent technical error by a previous judge. The judge told Lohan she was guilty of "extremely poor judgement by having roof parties while on home confinement, but poor judgment is not a violation of your probation."

GAWD DAM IT, WTF. What's she got to do, kill a baby and eat it. For Christ sake won't somebody sack up and put this chick behind bars for real. JESUS! What a f***ing joke! At this point in the game shouldn't she have a cool bad-guy nickname like recently captured mob guy James "Whitey" Bulger. Lindsay "Slick as Snot" Lohan. Lindsay "The MC Hammer of Crime" Lohan ("you can't touch this," in case you missed the reference). Lindsay "Bulletproof" Lohan. Ah, hell, let's just call her C**t-Stuff. That fits.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/23/lindsay-lohan-arrives-at-court/?hpt=hp_bn5

Okie's Not O.K. - Recently while in L.A. for some cool-ass celebrity type crap, Oklahoma icon and favorite son, Kevin Durant, was asked "what was there to do for fun in Oklahoma?" to which Durantula replied "nuttin."

This of course inflamed many Oklahomans who think their state kicks ass. Consequently the young Thunder star has been taking some heat in the local media.

So, let me put this baby to rest. I live here. There is nothing to do here. Period. At least compared to N.Y., L.A., Miami, or even Dallas... where a 23 year old kid with money can do ANYTHING he f***ing wants to do.

OKC is perfect for a NBA baller who doesn't want all the big city distractions while trying to win a championship. It's perfect for Durant at this stage in life... but don't expect him to stick around all summer doing "nuttin."

And, for all you die-hard Okies, think back to when you were 23, was there anything to do here? So, shut up.

http://www.newsok.com/did-kevin-durant-diss-okc/article/3579197?custom_click=lead_story_photo

A Rose By Any Other Name... - A buddy of mine sent me an article from the Kansas City Star that reported on an armed robbery with a description of the assailant, it read:

"The robber fled on foot. The suspect is a black man in his mid-20s, about 5 feet 6 with a thin build. He wore a dark baseball cap, a knee-length white T-shirt and ankle-length grey shorts."

Wait... what? Ankle-length grey shorts... don't we call those pants?

http://www.kansascity.com/2011/06/23/2970396/robber-shoots-clerk-at-lenexa.html#ixzz1QDoTAjRo

Back That Thing Up - Kim Kardashian's big ass is real. Due to being asked day in and day out if her phat ass is real or implanted, Kim K went to doctors and had her booty x-rayed to prove that all that ass is for reals.

Guess what? All that junk is not funk. It's real and it's fabulous.

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/24/kim-k-gets-x-ray-to-prove-her-butts-real/?hpt=hp_c2

Brilliant Idea: Texting a Picture of My Dick

Below is a list of times it is a good idea to send someone a picture of your penis.














OK, just kidding.

But, seriously when is it a good idea to send someone a pic of your junk?

Apparently, not when you are a married U.S. Congressman with a pregnant wife at home... nope, that's not a real good time. That's the kind of crap that gets you kicked out of office and gets the subject of your proud pic cut off in the middle of the night.

But, does sending chicks pictures of your balls and shaft necessarily make you a bad Congressman... maybe not. But lying about it for a week when your dumb ass knew that the only reason someone would be asking about it was because they had proof of it most certainly does. It shows me that your are a retard (with a crooked penis - google the pic) and therefore unworthy of representing the fine people of NY.

Not only that, but apparently your moral compass is all f***ed up and doesn't, unlike your rod, know what direction is up. Your married, with a child on the way and yet you think it's OK to send some chicks on Facebook pictures of your cock and talk all nasty with them. Is that where it ended, was there more?

Ask John Edwards how that turned out for him.

In the attached article it says Congressman Dick reached out to, friend, Bill Clinton to "express regret for his actions."

I'm no expert, but maybe being friends with a guy who "did not have sexual relations with that woman," yet, somehow part of his "sexual relations" ended up on her dress, is not the best idea in the world. Perhaps reaching out to a guy who likes to moisten his cigar tip with a little "cat nip" is not the right political move right now. That's like a smoker reaching out to the Marlboro man to ask how to quit or a sex addict asking Ron Jeremy how to not f*** so much. Dumbass. That's why you shouldn't be a Congressman you're to f***ing stupid.

Besides, who really gives a shit about pictures of franks and beans. After all, everyone does it. Right?

According to a recent MTV study 1 in 3 U.S. teens has participated in "sexting," the act of sending messages of a sexual nature to a recipient. 1 in 5 teens have sent a naked picture of themselves to someone else. Of naked pictures sent 17% of them are forwarded on to someone else.

That poses one very important question... Do these chicks have my number?

Apparently adults are not to far behind the youth of America. Therefore it comes as no surprise that a U.S. Congressman, would send someone a picture of his erect member or Congress. Hell, I keep a naked picture of myself on my phone just in case I need to send the wife one to wet her appetite. (she knows she loves it). I think we all should.

However one needs to really evaluate how one's life would be affected if said picture would somehow get out in public or how things might go down if the picture was sent to the wrong person. For me, being Joe Nobody, if I sent a picture to the wrong person I'd get a reply back simply stating... "you're an idiot" from about 98% of the people in my contact list. The other 2% is made up of people who would be highly offended but whom I would not really care if I had offended and my wife, who would reply back to me, "my appetite is moist."

And, if the picture got out to the public, most people would just say stuff like, "good lord, is he carrying a club!" "What is that a white elephant?" "He is blessed" and "F********ck me." Ok, not really, but we can all dream. Actually, they'd just say, "HAHAHAHA."

Anyway, all I'm saying is don't be an idiot. Don't do stupid stuff. If you get married honor your wife by not being a sexual retard.

I have a theory that this all starts in the dating cycle. We try so hard to be someone who the person we are interested in would like that we don't show them who we actually are. In this case Mrs. Wiener probably never got a nasty Polaroid from Mr. Wiener that would have shown her that he is a total freak. Or, maybe she did and that is why she is so overly understanding of the situation... that, or he beats her. I don't have proof, I'm just saying.

Anyway. Kids, don't take pictures of your parts and send them to other kids. And girls, if you are over the age of 18, hot, and just have to do it... let me know... I'll send you my number.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/06/09/weiner.scandal/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

The End is Near and Other Excuses

Well boys and girls my vacation is over. And, just in time for the end of the world. Yes, according to some Christians this Saturday Jesus Christ will come back to earth and gather all of his faithful to take back to heaven. I doubt I get to join them so I will probably be left here on earth to slug it out with the zombie hordes and non-believers until October 21 when the world cataclysmicly comes to an end.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/05/19/rapture-movement-predicts-end-world-saturday/

The belief started in California (where else) when Harold Camping, owner of Family Radio Worldwide, an independent ministry, began broadcasting his prediction around the world.

On Monday a group called eBible Fellowship, a group who has been spreading Camping's word, met for the last time as an organization to say goodbye to one-another and to pray.

I wonder what that little party was like. Was it like a get-together when someone is leaving for a long period of time or more like a wake? I mean, seriously, this is a group of people that honestly believe that Saturday is the last day of the world. What kind of Debbie-downer party that must of been.

Personally I've been trying to use the talk of our demise to get sex from my wife... I mean if I'm going out, I'm going out on a high note. However, my wife is a non-believer and so far has not succumbed to my pleads for, what I am calling, Apocalyptic Sex. There's make-up sex, there's kids are away at grandmas for the weekend sex, there's "ok, just go ahead and do it" sex but Apocalyptic Sex is bound to be the greatest of them all.

Anyway, all this apocalyptic talk is taking away from my message here. I've been ignoring my little blog for the past couple of months not due to me diligently preparing for the end time, but rather just for two reasons: sheer busyness in my real life and lack of inspiration and will.

Oh sure there we've missed some exciting times.

- Lindsay Lohan pleaded out... of course, and won't spend a day in jail. She could walk into the eBible end of the world party and shoot all of them believers in the head and plead that they were all gonna die on Saturday anyway and just walk away with a stern preaching from the judge and 2 weeks community service. It could happen.

- Charlie Sheen lost his gawd damn mind. You've heard the saying, "crazier than a sh!t-house rat." Well, Charlie makes that rat look pretty credible member of society. How do you f*** up a gig that pays you $2 million to shoot a few scenes for a T.V. Show. He's complained that Chuck Lorre is manipulative and deceitful... BFD, you're making 2 mil a show... f***, I'd have sucked his d!ck for 2 mil a show. (Does that sound gay)

- We killed Osama Bin Laden. I loved how the media has stated that he was living in a mansion in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Look, I've seen a few mansions before and Osama wasn't in one. Granted he wasn't in a cave, sh!tting in a bucket, but come on, they weren't gonna feature his place on cribs anytime soon. I also love how the Pakistanis are acting all tough after we ventured into their country. If I was President I'd simply say, "look Pak... if I want any lip from you I'll scrap it off my damn zipper." And, Pakistan, if you don't want us there, stop us, then see what kinda sh!t storm that ignites. You were knowingly/unknowingly harbouring the most wanted man in the world... simply say, "our bad... glad you got the SOB" and get over it.

- Heidi Montag hasn't shown us her boobs, but recently announced she needed some time off from fame before starting her new show called Famous Food where she and a few other quasi-famous people do something with food, blah di frickin blah... SHOW US YOUR BOOBS!

- People in the Midwest are sick of rain. At first I was like, what did they do but then I remember that all those flooded rivers drain into New Orleans... and god hates New Orleans. How else to explain Katrina, Rita, the worst economy in the country, and oil spills. What's that you say, what about the Super Bowl? That's sorta like giving a death row inmate a final meal, I say. Trust me, the end is near... probably this Saturday.

Anyway, there's tons of other stuff I missed, so sorry for that... but hopefully I can find a little spark to continue to talk sh!t about. Look back soon for more.

I'm Quitting My Job...

...Instead I am going to devote my time looking for images of people in random items.

A couple recently discovered what appears to be the image of The Princes Bride, Kate Middleton in a mango flavored Jelly Belly. The couple plan to sell the bean on eBay with a starting price of 500 pounds (about $800). And, I'm willing to bet some whack job will pay that and more for this quirky little sweet morsel of mango.

If I'm going to be someone who professionally looks for images of people and things in random items I need a cool title... how about, a Random Face Finder, or an Image Collector, uh, uh, I know, a Professional Image Searcher, or a P.I.S. yeah, that's it.

"Hey man, so what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a P.I.S."

"Ohhhhh... what, you gotta pee?"

And, when I'm working I will tell people I'm P.I.S.'n

It'll catch on. Yep, I now plan on spending my days cooking toast, looking through bags of potato chips, and riffling through piles of vegetables (and Jelly Belly's) looking for that random image of Prince William, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Mickey Mouse and the coup de grace... Jesus Christ. I figure a good image of 'ol J.C. on a flour tortilla would bring a five-figure paycheck. HAHA, I'll be rich bitches! Suck on that Jelly Belly!

http://royalwedding.yahoo.com/blogs/man-finds-jelly-bean-with-striking-resemblance-to-kate-middleton-4555

Bigfoot

Thomas Byers and Carolyn Wright of Shelby, North Carolina claim that the above video is of Bigfoot, or Knobby, as he's locally known, as he walked across a road in front of them.

Sorry folks, but I'm gonna have to call bullsh!t on that. Seriously, it's 2011, my cell phone has a better video camera on it then what Tom filmed this shot with. WTH, did he pick up an old reel to reel video camera at a pawn shop and start filmin. That's grainier than a wheat field. The Zapruder film had better focus.

What you have is 2, maybe 3, guys (and Carolyn) who dressed up a schmuck in a gorilla outfit and filmed him running across the road. When they watched the replay they were like (in their best N. Carolina draw) "Gosh darn that looks totally fake, you can see them seams and everything... We gotta make this look bonafide." So they breathed their hot, alcohol filled, breath over the lens and shook it around so it would be out of focus before they captured their 5 second clip and then went back to their trailer and drank some more until Carolyn showed them her boobs. That's WHAT happen; imbreeding + beer + crappy video camera + a group of people tired of filming Carolyn and Earl Jay doing the naked shuffle while wasted on refer.

Good to know that North Carolina Hillbilly's with a sh!tty camera can still make the national news... que the fiddle from Deliverance.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Big-Foot-Or-Knobby-Is-Alive-And-Well-In-North-Carolina

Things I Learned This Week: A Scorpion Is Always A Scorpion

I am sure that you have all heard the tale of the frog and the scorpion.

No, well, listen up then.

One day a frog was sitting on the edge of the river when a scorpion walked up to him and said, "frog, will you please let me climb on your back and swim me across this river, I would be truly indebted to you?"

The frog said, "Of course not. You are a scorpion and you would surely sting me."

The scorpion replied back to the frog, "That would be silly, if I were to sting you then I would drown along with you, as I can not swim."

The frog thought of this for a minute and finally said, "OK, climb on and I'll swim you across the river."

The scorpion climbed on the frogs back and they started out across the river, about half way across the scorpion stung the frog and the frog cried out, "WHY, why have you stung me scorpion? Now you too will surely drown."

The scorpion simply replied, "you dumba$$, I am a scorpion... of course I am going to sting you."

Well, that's the moral of today's post... No matter what they say or do, some people, just can't change. Once a scorpion, always a scorpion.
________________________________________


Lindsay Lohan pulled a kid off of a swing set in a local park, pulled his pants down and sodomized him with a broom handle in front of his mom then smoked a joint and laughed. She was detained by police but will not be charged. In fact they are giving her a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. The kid just want's an autograph and a bag of ice.

Seriously would that little headline stun you? Of course not, this is Lindsey Lohan we're talking about.

Well, that didn't happen, but proving that the LA court system is a funnier than old episodes of Seinfeld, Lohan again is getting the "star treatment" after being accused of stealing a necklace from a Hollywood jewelry store.

The necklace in question is worth $2500 and was taken on January 22nd. Video surveillance shows Lohan viewing and wearing the necklace at the store on that date. She is also seen wearing the necklace a few days later in paparazzi photos. When the store said they were going to press charges, an assistant of Lohan's returned the necklace to the store. The store was not paid for the necklace at any point. Despite all that, Lohan has pleaded not guilty to the theft.

I can't wait to hear the BS she comes up with this time. I'm willing to bet very important parts of my anatomy, i.e., my balls, that she will claim... "to her knowledge" the store "gave" her, or "loaned" her the necklace and then pull some bunk where she claims stores do this all the time for her, cause she's an actress. And, of course, the court will believe it and she will be set free to pillage once again.

The judge in the case told Lohan in court this week "You're no different than anyone else," then booked her at the courthouse instead of allowing police to arrest her and take her into custody, and did all of this outside of the cameras view that were covering the case.

After giving a DNA sample and paying the $40,000 bond, the court then allowed her to leave out a back entrance to the courthouse, again outside of the cameras view... just like anyone else would be able to do.

Oh well. This is looking just like every other case where Lohan was wrongfully accused. She's a saint. When will we learn.

Plus, kudos must be given to Lohan for borrowing Sharon Stone's "snatch" dress from Basic Instinct to wear to court. Nothing says, "I'm taking this seriously" more than showing up pantyless in a skin tight white dress, smoking a cigarette, and spreading her legs as the judge addressed her.

Ok, I made that up... she wasn't pantyless. But, again, would it surprise you if she was?

http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_17339468?source=pkg
________________________________________

Jennifer Aniston hates huge boobs and America, cause that goes hand in hand.

By huge boobs, I mean Heidi Montag and her husband Spencer Pratt (you thought I was talking about Montag's huge boobs, haha).

Supposedly Anistion barred Montag from the screening of her new movie "Just Go With It," that stars Adam Sandler and Brooklyn Decker.

This would of course beg the question does Montag have enough Hollywood pull to even attend such an event. And, the answer is "no." But, since she and her two co-stars (now I am talking about her huge boobs) have a bit part in the film she would typically be allowed to attend the gala.

But, Aniston supposedly barred the "actress" ( a term used loosely to describe both Aniston and Montag) from the screening because she is "too polarizing." Which is a nice way of saying "your tits are so big, they will steal the lime-light from me."

Montag replied by saying the whole thing was a big mix up, that she was invited, but she could not attend because she had to look after her dogs. Which is a nice way of saying, "I didn't want to come anyway bi#ch, and YES, my jugs are huge!"

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/jennifer-aniston-bans-heidi-montag-from-film-premiere_1200746

p.s. The only reason a man would want to see this film is for that scene where Brooklyn Decker walks out of the ocean... even my 10 year old son says, "DAAAMMMMNNNNNN!" every time he sees that trailer.
_________________________________________

Hosni Mubarak will not be built a pyramid in his honor by his fellow Egyptians anytime soon. Unless it's built out of large piles of crap that has flowed from his mouth the past few weeks.

Less than 24 hours after telling Egyptians "I won't quit us," or something like that, Mubarak resigned and turned his power over to the Egyptian military.

What a mess.

I have a theory, actually I have many theory's, as you may have been able to tell by now, but this theory goes like this; Never go anywhere where they celebrate exciting things by yelling a tongue thrilling "Iyeyeyeyeyeyeyey," and shoot guns in the air... this includes Iraq, Egypt, and South Central Los Angeles.

For the past several weeks Egyptians have been protesting the decades of repressive leadership by President Mubarak which have been highlighted by several clashes between supporters and protesters of Mubarak in Egypts, Tahrir Square. This has lead to some reporters, like Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour, being caught in the clash while reporting, from the streets, that there were clashes going on and that they were getting the sh!t kicked out of them... which serves them right... I mean, after all, they are rich, white, Americans walking around Tahrir Square like they own the place and expect nothing to happen... i.e. they are dumba$$es.

In the words of one merchant in the Egyptian capitol of Cairo, "these protest have set our country and economy back 50 years." So, that's like 1887... right. Seriously, do you think you were on the brink of becoming the next great technologically advanced state. In every protest picture there is noting but dirt covered streets, armed people bitching, and random goats. Could you imagine if they showed film of Times Square and it was a dirt covered road with goats tied to the street lights and Molotov cocktails flying across the joint, we'd get laughed at as a nation. Trust me, you ain't exactly Times Square, Egypt.

But, I digress. In the words of one Egyptian... "we are free."

Free. In a government that is currently being controlled by the military, you are free... I'm sure things will be awesome there by next week and you will be back up to your third world country standards.

In all seriousness, things may get better but it is going to take some serious time, and probably lots more of my tax dollars. Because, I'm sure we'll be sending a 'support' package to the Egyptians soon in hopes of getting our foot in their door... if not that, then maybe George Clooney can have a celebrity filled pledge drive.

Sean Penn, get your bags packed... there are people to be saved!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110211/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_egypt

Monday Morning Quarterback

Although it looks as if Christina Aguilera would have no problem reciting you the ingredients and instructions to making double-fudge chocolate brownies apparently the National Anthem causes her fits.

And, thus begins our Monday Morning Quarterback blog of all things Superbowl... except football.

So, Christina blotched the National Anthem... but rest assured more embarrassing things could have happened... no I'm not talking about some Disney doofus ripping her blouse open to reveal her pierced breast, no I'm saying they could have flashed her current weight up on that BIG screen in Texas Stadium.

Good Christ, what happened to her. I've always had this theory that 3-6 months after a woman gets divorced she will look better then at any point during her marriage. This happens for three reasons.

1. Spite - She wants to say "f*** you" to the guy that left her by looking s#it hot when he knows he can't touch her ever again without actually saying a word to him.

2. More Spite - She's on the prowl for a new man (so she can start eating again).

3. Even More Spite - She wants everyone to know that I only looked like that because I was with him... it wasn't me, it was him.

Well, Christina totally blows that theory out of the water. Instead, she has apparently chosen to hoover up every scrap of food around her then go on national television, and in front of the largest possible audience ever, f*** up the National Anthem... the only song that every American knows.

There's only one thing you can say... Spite... Failed.

And, speaking of failure you gotta love it when FOX cuts to the luxury box to show Cameron Diaz shoveling food in to Alex Rodriguez's mouth like she was shoveling coal into a furnace. In the biz we call that "epic timing."

Actually, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm not in the biz. But, I know a F.U. when I see one.

(http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Video-Cameron-Diaz-weirdly-feeds-popcorn-to-Ale?urn=nfl-317849 )

And, that luxury box. Jerry Jones had invited George Bush, Barbara Bush, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, John Madden, Condoleezza Rice, Sugar Ray Leonard... and Austin, f***in, Kutcher. Don't get me wrong I love the movies 'Valentine's Day' and 'No Strings Attached' as much as the next guy straddling the man fence, but sitting with that better class, well better than him... come on. The guys a doof. And, what was that he was wearing on his head... a rasta hat. When did he become a Jamaican reggae singer.

http://www.yourcelebritystuff.com/ashton-kutcher/ashton-kutcher-sitting-behind-george-bush-at-the-super-bowl/

And, speaking of singers. Too bad we didn't have any for the half time show. (A-rum-pum-pum. Thank you folks, I'm here all week)

Actually, I don't blame the Black Eyed Peas for their poor audio performance. If I was Will-i-am I'd beat the s#it out of the guy who set up my mike... I think his name was I-F***ed-Up. They sounded like crap, and they looked like they had boards shoved up their a$$es. We've seen most of their act before, in their concert and on other television shows (MTV Music Awards), with the exception that they usually dance. However, they barely moved on the big stage and appeared to be nervous and scared. Like Josh Duhamel is every time Fergie says, "hurry, I'm about to piss myself."

http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/fergie-wet-her-pants-on-stage/

The mass of choreographed "Tron" dancers helped a bit, but even that was borrowed from the opening ceremonies of the Chinese Olympics, who by the way did it WAY better. Guest appearances by Slash and Usher did little to improve the scene, but at least Usher moved, the Peas looked as stiff as Willi's plastic hair piece.

But, the Peas are not alone in the "looking bad" category. The NFL and Jerry Jones joined them when they sold seats they didn't have.

Over 400 people had purchased seats and traveled to the game only then to walk through the gate to find out that they didn't actually have a seat like they thought. I guess special seats that were being installed just for the game did not get installed due to weather delays. Nice!

To make up for it the NFL offered people who got screwed in the deal three times face value of the seats they had purchased as a refund, which was $2400.

There's no way that would cover what someone spent on the Superbowl. You have to figure; 4- nights at a hotel at $250 a night (hotels in the area required a minimum 4-night stay), airfare, food, drink, plus souvenirs and other crap, let alone, the cost of the ticket, which if bought through a second hand vendor was WAY over the face value... I'd say you're looking at $4000 per seat. Minimum.

I'd be f***ing pissed.

You figure most people, in their lifetime, would never get to a Superbowl. And, these guys bought the cheap seats, so you know they aren't the corporate cronies that go every year. What does that "experience" cost? What's it's value? Certainly more than $4000 if you ask me. But, go figure, one of the unlucky guest has already started a website to sue the NFL, superbowlsuit.com. My guess is they will get four grand and then some.

On top of all this was the awesome Dallas weather. It maybe snows once a year in Dallas and even that is minimal and usually melted off by the next day... but, not this time. Dallas got pounded by snow and it didn't melt all week. Roads were closed, air travel was a mess, only about 2/3's of the stadiums entrances were open because of a concern for falling ice. Basically it all sucked. Now we get to hear the NFL pundits complain that the Superbowl should only be held in warm weather places like Miami, Phoenix, L.A. and New Orleans. Well, get used to it... next year is Indy and then an outside game in New York. Bundle up b!tc#es.

Commercials this year were OK. I loved the aforementioned Little Darth Vader VW commercial, but also liked the eTrade commercials, as usual, and the Chrysler 200 commercial with Eminem was kinda cool, even thought I would never buy a Chrysler cause Chrysler builds sh!t. Carmax had a decent ad, and women everywhere this Valentine's day will be getting cards that read, "Dear (name), your rack is unreal!" but I still don't get most of these advertisers spending $1.6 million on 30 seconds of ad time only to show us the lame a$$ sh!t they come up with, i.e.; Doritos, Pepsi Max, and whatever Kenny G. and Adrien Brody were selling. Every ad should kill with that kind of money being thrown around.

http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/the-buzziest-super-bowl-ads-of-2011--2278

And, finally, to end this edition of Monday Morning Quarterback I leave you with this... the Monday after Superbowl Sunday should be a national holiday and all business should be closed... so sayeth my pounding head and wrecked stomach.

http://slaphand.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-after.html


See you next year, if there is no strike!