Today's headlines beg the question; Who's gonna get canned the fastest.
First up is Rima Fakih, the recent (and by recent, I mean she hasn't held the title for 36 hours yet) Miss USA winner. Rima's pretty mug has turned up in photos of her trying to win a stripper contest (HELLS YEAH!).
It seems almost a given anymore, in this day of pocket and cell phone cameras, that most any woman who is exciting, vivacious, and hot will be caught doing something nasty or dirty on film (god bless America).
This reporter, however, does not have a problem with this. In fact, I applaud Miss Fakih for totally going against her "under my thumb and under a sheet" restrictive heritage to go all out and actually win the Stripper 101 contest. She's awesome.
However, I somehow doubt that middle America nor the Miss USA pageant folks (the Trumpster included) will appreciate the courage it must take for an Arab to gyrate her hips and massage her crotch on a shinny pole so successfully as to actually win a stripper contest. Their lack of lustful vision will surely lead to Miss USA's untimely demise.
On the bright side... a Playboy spread is almost assured.
Time to Cannage - 16 days (and lots more photos)
Second in today's contest is Shia LeBeouf. For the second time in a week LeBeouf has criticized a world renowned director, this time going after one of the top three (if not the top) most powerful men in Hollywood; Steven Spielberg.
To his credit LeBeouf also criticized his ability to bring the character of Mutt in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to life, saying, "you get to monkey-swinging and things like that and you can blame it on the writer and you can blame it on Steven but the actors job is to make it come alive and make it work and I couldn't do that."
I don't know what monkey-swinging is, but I do know who Steven is and I know I wouldn't be caught monkey-swinging my dick in his general direction if I was an up and coming actor.
LeBeouf continued to say Harrison Ford wasn't happy either (way to sell him out too, jackass) and that he'll "probably get a call", but that Steven needs to know.
Going to Steven and saying "hey man, I don't think this is going to work... I don't think it's what the people want. It's too far fetched and just doesn't fit well with the character of Indiana Jones," is one thing. Going to the Cannes Film Festival and telling everyone the same thing is another. One gets you a "shut the f*** up and just act, boy" speech, the other gets you shut the f*** out of acting in Hollywood all together.
Criticizing Steven Speilberg is like calling Chuck Liddell queer... it ain't gonna end well.
All this was on top of giving Transformers 2 director, Michael Bay, crap for his work on the Transformers sequel. He claims he wasn't happy with what they did on the film.
Really? Cause what it sounds like is your dumb ass doesn't like acting in big budget, big grossing movies (#10 and #26 in earnings of ALL TIME domestically) and if you don't keep your big mouth shut... two of the biggest directors in Hollywood will shut it for you. A call is gonna be the least of your worries, big boy.
Now LeBeouf is a popular actor and has been in many successful films but you just don't go around pissing off some of the most powerful men in Hollywood with out some type of repercussion. Expect a slow down in young LeBeouf's career
Time to Cannage - 3 days (followed by about a year of hard times - think Vince of Entourage fame after Medellin came out)
Third is Delonte West. It was reported that the Cleveland Cavilers failures in game 4 of the 2nd round playoff series between them and the Boston Celtics and Lebron James piss poor play in said game was due to the fact that Lebron found out that teammate Delonte West was sleeping with his Moms.
OH NO HE DIDN'T! OH SNAP!
The story was first reported by TerezOwens.com who found out through a source who's uncle works at the Q (the Caviliers Arena) that Delonte West was "bangin" Lebron's mom, Gloria James.
I don't know what I like more... the fact that someone reported 3rd hand news, "yo, my pops brother, who works at the Q, was like, yo, Bron's mom been bangin Delonte West, for like, motherf***ing ever, dog." Or that he actually used the word "bangin" in the article. Regardless, it's an awesome story that, if true, will launch TerezOwens.com to TMZ status. Or, if not true is gonna make Lebron a few million richer via lawsuit.
Either way it goes down as the greatest excuse EVER for losing a basketball game, "Delonte's bangin of Lebron's mom totally ruined our chemistry and divided us as a team. Some of us were like, 'damn, that's Bron's mom 'and others were like 'yeah, but ass is ass'."
Regardless, if true, I think it is safe to say that Lebron and Delonte will not be teammates next season. Delonte may not be alive next season.
Time to Cannage: any minute now.
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