1. No plan. - So, you mean to tell me oil companies are able to build these giant floating oil drilling platforms and no one ever thought of what might happen if one of them started leaking oil into the ocean. No one... really? Apparently there is a valve at the well head that is supposed to be able to be shut off should a catastrophe happen to the platform and again no one thought "what if this valve doesn't work and we start spewing thousands of gallons of oil into the gulf?" I mean their best solution was pumping mud and golf balls into the pipeline... golf balls?? Are you f***ing serious? Someone needs a beatin.
2. No one got a beaten. - Our illustrious President said last week that "he wanted to know whose ass to kick" for this disaster. After being shut in a room with everyone whose ass needed kicked on Wednesday of this week it was noted that no one came out with a sore ass, bloody nose, a bruise, or even looking like they were sternly spoken too. Look, I'm all for a good ass kicking, as my three loyal readers know, but we all know you ain't gonna kick anyones ass. So quit this tough guy act and instead try to actually do something. We don't need a thug, we need a leader. Don't just talk about holding people accountable, actually DO IT! And, quit threatening to kick peoples ass, it just makes you look bad. It reminded me of when Bush got up and talked about the "Axis of Evil;" I knew right then and there that there was no way that was ending well. Bush was kind of an idiot... what's your excuse.
3. Where's Hollywood? - I mean those clowns raised $58 million for the Haitian earthquake victims, how bout a little love for the gulf coast. Oh sure, Larry King is going to have a little fundraiser for gulf coast victims, but I'll bet Larry pays out more to his ex-wives in alimony than his little telethon is going to raise. Where's the real heavy hitters; George Clooney, Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts... where's the love... what, the gulf not good enough for you? Are those affected not poverty stricken enough for you. Is it to local for you? Where's the 4 hour telethon on every station, ABC, NBC, CBS, MTV, VH1, CNN, et al with all you schmucks taking calls from Joe Average citizen? Where's the benefit concert? Hell, where's the celebrity softball tourney? $1.2 billion... that's what Americans donated in total to Haiti... a whole other country. I'll bet they would be willing to give a little to help with this situation in the gulf... they are just waiting to be able to call Jessica Alba to donate. Hollywood this is a problem right here in your own back yard and you ain't doing shit... I guess it's just f*** you America. At least Kevin Costner is doing something.
4. Kevin Costner will clean this shit up. - Kevin Costner and his scientist brother own a company called Ocean Therapy Solutions that manufactures machines that separate oil from water. It took him awhile but he finally got BP to buy 32 of them to help with their cleanup process. A multi-billion dollar company like BP that owns several drilling platforms that sit in the ocean and pump oil has never invested in a better way to separate water from oil until Dances With Wolves showed them how. Really? I guess it was all that time he spent in the water and on that oil tanker on the Waterworld set that has made him the reigning expert on oil/water separation.
When all is said and done I hope BP comes through with their promise to clean up this mess... only time will tell. But this has got the lookings of a total oil soaked cluster f*** if you ask me.
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