Top 5 Most Annoying Things About the World Cup

A Top Five for the times. It's World Cup, baby, and these things are pissing me off.

1. Those F***ING Vuvuzelas. - I did a whole post on this so check it out. http://slaphand.blogspot.com/2010/06/with-world-cup-in-full-swing-one-thing.html. Seriously get rid of those things.

2. All the Faking - I haven't seen acting this bad since the last Megan Fox movie. I haven't seen this much faking since my last anniversary night (it's ok baby, I appreciate the effort and thank you for not pointing out my 'short' comings). I love watching these penalty's when the player is rolling around on the ground grabbing their shin like someone took a hammer to it and three or four of his teammates are standing around the referee pointing at their fallen comrade pleading their case for a yellow card yet no one even checks on the guy on the ground to see if he's OK, they just let him flail around like beached whale (because they know he's faking too) and when the referee finally pulls the yellow card out the injured player hops up and is ready to play like nothing happened... one minute the guy is needing an amputation, the next he's taking the penalty kick. What gives. And, usually the replay shows there was no contact whatsoever in the play. Lindsey Lohan has better acting chops.

3. The Yellow Card Presentation - What's with the ref running up to a guy and whipping out his yellow card like the guy just got busted fondling a 6 year old boy. I mean can we just note the penalty, tell the guy he got a yellow, and move on. Do we really need all the theatrics? I love that we have to watch the guy pull out his notepad and write it down too while the commentators discuss his actions. Don't they got a guy on the sideline that can write this stuff down. I mean seriously, is the World Cup so short staffed that if the guy on the field doesn't get it in his memo pad that the penalty will be forgotten. Oh, and God forbid someone gets a Red Card... holy crap.

4. Lack of WAG Coverage - Sure, just about every magazine, website, and TV station has done something on the WAG's (Wives and Girlfriends). But we need more... some of these chicks are frickin HOT. You can never have to much WAG coverage... that's like having too much money or getting to much sex... it's just not possible. We need more gratuitous WAG shots. I think each time a player on the field makes a good play they should have to show the nude pics of his WAG from Page Six or Playboy with the accompanying replay. That should be a rule.

5. The Gawd Damn Vuvuzelas - Yeah, I know I already mentioned this... it's that f***ing annoying. I don't give a shit if is a part of South African culture... I don't care if it started hundreds of years ago with tribes blowing through animal horns to call gatherings... I don't care if you think it's neat... it's the most annoying thing about these games. What if every sporting event you went to in the U.S. 80% of the crowd blew kazoos through the whole game. Parking lot before the game... kazoos. Entering the stadium... kazoos. Opening ceremony/flag presentation... kazoos. kick off/ jump ball/ first pitch... kazoos. the whole first half... kazoos. Halftime show... kazoos. The second half... kazoos. The cheerleaders dance number in the middle of the second half... kazoos. Leaving the arena... kazoos. Interview on the radio with the star player after the game... kazoos. Every game... kazoos. Every f***ing game. Get the point? By the end you'd be ready to kill someone. Tell me I'm wrong. Wouldn't you rather hear the chanting and singing that usually accompanies World Cup soccer. I would, so, take your vuvuzela and shove it where the sun don't shine.

BTW, GO USA!